A highly scientific study* was published this week that found women who took their husbands last name typically were viewed as less competent, and made less than women who did not change their name. While the study is highly suspect, that did get me thinking about the general practice of name-changing.
First off, I want to make it clear the term “maiden name” is stupid and trite. Maiden makes me think of a women dancing in a field with a ring of flowers around her head, not something many women are wont to do these days. It’s an old-fashioned term, and it’s time something better was used. Unfortunately, the only thing I can come up with would be given name and married name, so that will have to do for now.
“Why should I change my name? He’s the one that sucks.”
-Michael Bolton, Office Space
When I got married, I thought long and hard about if I wanted to change my name. My entire life I have identified as Jolie Gendel, did I want to give that up? I eventually decided to use a hyphenated name, enjoying the best of both world so to speak. I was lazy with implementation though, and after a short time reverted to my given name. It’s not an easy to change one’s last name. I take that back, it is easy, just extremely tedious and time consuming. It’s not just saying “Oh, I’m Mrs. Jones now”. Involved are trips to both the DMV and social security office, the cost of getting a new license, notifying your bank, your employer and their IT department, your credit cards, utility companies, loans holders, new personal email and contact information, not to mention correcting every single person who addresses you by your former name. Added up, it’s an awful lot of hassle for something that just wasn’t that important to me.
A few years have passed now. Sometimes I do think about changing to my married name. It’s always at a time when I’m experiencing a lot of stress, and the idea of starting with a clean slate appeals to me, but that desire always passes and I settle back to be regular old me.
*a group of college students sitting around a table
